Holiday Green
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Philly Christmas reunion
1. Chapter 1

"You don't have to keep apologizing," she said as she nodded in thanks to the attendant at the coat closet. She pulled her coat tighter around her as she stepped into the elevator and waited as the doors closed. "I understand, honestly. I'm a CEO too, remember? Stuff happens. I get it. I'll see you at home, okay?" The cell phone fell easily into her purse as she smiled at the young couple who stepped into he elevator beside. She tried not to feel a twinge of jealousy as she watched the man pull the young women closer and lightly brush his lips against her temple. Nick hadn't intended to stand her up. The last minute work meeting was something he couldn't have helped and still a part of her wished he'd blown it off instead of her. "Merry Christmas," she muttered as the couple walked ahead of her into the parking garage, their hands clasped tightly together.

She walked over to her car, her heels clicking on the cold cement. The biting, winter wind gave her every reason to quicken her steps as she pressed the button on her key fob and waited to hear the familiar click of the automatic locks. Suddenly the world tilted and her entire body went sideways. She braced herself, fully expecting the pain and impact to follow. Instead she felt arms around her – warm arms, arms that felt familiar. She took a deep breath, the smell of his cologne told her everything she needed to know and the sound of his voice was everything she'd been missing without even knowing it.

"You okay?" Billy said softly, his arms gently lifting her up and helping her stand beside him.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm fine. I'm not sure what happened there. I haven't even had anything to drink tonight. Can't even blame the wine." She tried to joke. She had to do something to get her mind off the overwhelming warmth that now flooded her entire body.

"Maybe blame the heels?" he offered. He smiled at her.

It was the smile she loved, the one that could have gotten the man off a murder charge. "I don't think so," she giggled, "these aren't even my most impressive ones. It's like there was ice or something, but …" She looked down on the ground, her eyes certainly falling on the puddle near her feet. "Look," she said.

Billy stooped down. "Looks like your car's leaking something." He dipped his finger into the fluid. "Probably coolant," he muttered.

She felt her heart flip inside her chest. She'd tried to be the rational one, the one that kept everyone off the ledge. When Sharon, Nikki, and Victoria were all convinced that they were in grave danger, she was the voice of reason. She was the one that was always certain everything would be fine. There was no boogey man coming after them. This was all a nightmare they'd created in their heads. The torture they were experiencing was, in large part, of their own creation. But this … this wasn't something she'd imagined. This was real. Too real. If she hadn't slipped. She would have been in that car.

The look on his face confirmed her worse fears.

"Oh my God," Billy said as his eyes met hers. He held his hand closer to his face as he rubbed a bit of the fluid between his fingertips. "That's brake fluid, Phyllis. Thank God you didn't make it to the car. If you'd driven out of here tonight …"

"I know," she managed, her voice trembling at the thought. "If I'd gotten in that car tonight, I could have …"

"Hey," He reached for her again, his arm wrapping around her shoulder and pulling her closer towards him. "It didn't happen okay? You're fine. You're okay."

"Yeah." She held her breath for a moment and then slowly let it out. The feeling of his arm around her felt right, more right than anything had for quite some time. Her mind suddenly snapped to attention and she remembered where she was and who she was with. "What are you doing here anyway? How did you even find me?"

"I was having dinner with Jack," Billy answered. "Just happened to be in the right place at the right time, I guess." He smiled at her as she looked into his eyes. He'd felt the change in her body the moment she'd checked back into reality. For a few blissful seconds, they had been lost in each other again and nothing had changed, but that wasn't possible for them … not anymore. "What about you?" he said. "What are you doing in the middle of a parking garage alone? That's not the safest thing in the world. Where's Nick? What's he thinking letting you walk in here alone."

"Don't start," she muttered though not angrily. "Nick had something come up at work and he had to take care of it. I was supposed to meet him here for dinner, but he called and said he couldn't make it, so I was just gonna meet him at the house later, but now …"

"Let me take you home," Billy said.

"I don't …"

"You think I'm gonna let you hang out here by yourself and wait for a car?" He smiled as he watched her roll her eyes slightly. "I can take you home and then Nick can call a tow for your car when he gets home. That way I'm not stepping on his He-man toes." His heart soared as he heard the sound of her reluctant laughter.

"He would hate that," she smirked. "Don't ever let him hear you say that."

"I'll put it on his Christmas card," Billy grinned. "Seriously. You've got to let me drive you home. I can't leave you here."

"Alright," she relented. "I'd appreciate it. You saved me life as it turns out. I guess the least I can do is let you drive me home."

Billy nodded and offered her his arm in an exaggerated gesture of chivalry. "After you m'lady." He watched as she stepped out and almost immediately winced.

"Oww," she hissed. "Damn!"

"What's wrong?" His face immediately changed to reflect his concern as he looked down at her hand that was wrapped tightly around her ankle.

"My ankle," she sighed. "I didn't realize it until I tried to step down on it, but … I guess when I fell I must have twisted it or something."

"Not a problem," Billy assured her as his arm wrapped around her waist. Though he'd never want to see her in pain, he couldn't pretend he didn't relish this opportunity. Any chance he had to be close to her, to take care of her, to prove to her that he could and would still put her first was incredibly precious to him. "I've got you," he whispered. "I promise. I won't let anything happen to you."


	2. Chapter 2

She glanced up into the rearview mirror. The headlights behind them had been almost blinding for the better part of the last five minutes. "He's following pretty close, isn't he?"

Billy looked over at her, noticing for the first time the deep lines of concern in her forehead. "Who? The idiot behind us?" He shrugged. "Yeah, but he's probably just some asshole that waited to do his Christmas shopping to the last minute. He's probably got a wife at home that's waiting on him for dinner and he's trying to get home before he's stuck on the couch for a month." He smiled, fully expecting to receive a trademark Phyllis giggle in return, but instead he heard nothing but silence. His hand reached out for her, the warmth of his touch an immediate comfort as he softly brushed against her arm. "You okay?" he asked. "You sure you don't need to go to the hospital? Get that ankle x-rayed?"

"The ankle's fine," she assured him. That was about the only assurance she could make tonight – at the least the only one that wouldn't add to her already massive collection of lies and half truths. She couldn't explain why she was so jumpy, why she'd freaked out over brake fluid under her car, why she was so worried about a car that followed too close behind them, why she'd suddenly become a jumpy, anxious mess. She wrung her hands together, the anxiety a relatively new and entirely unwelcome feeling for her.

"Cold?" Billy let his eyes fall to her hands as she held them clasped tightly in her lap. "I've got the heat on," he said. "It's just brutal out there right now." He hated not being able to reach out to her and bring her closer to him. He'd love nothing more than to take her hands in his but, as he was forced to continually remind himself these days, she wasn't his anymore. "If you open the console," he said quickly, "I think I've got an extra pair of gloves in there."

She smiled gratefully. At least that would help conceal the telltale signs of her inner turmoil. She reached and opened the latch. "Oh," she said quickly. Her body leaned forwards as she fished into the darkness for the item that had fallen into the floorboard. "Sorry," she whispered, her words faltering as the light from the moon made the item finally recognizable. "I …"

"I can take that." His hand reached for the velvet box quickly, so quickly in fact that she knew in an instant it wasn't a topic appropriate for discussion.

"Okay," she nodded. She heard him clear his throat, a clear sign that he was uncomfortable.

"Do you see them?"

"See what?" Her own mind was racing now at the possible contents of the box.

"The gloves."

"Oh. Yeah." She pulled them from the console and quickly closed the hatch, easily pulling them over her hands and smiling as they dwarfed her tiny digits. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Not exactly the right size, but they'll serve the purpose," he noted.

"Yeah." They were both simply trying to fill the awkward silence now. "It'll work."

They'd driven in virtual silence until they reached the lighted driveway. Billy was already standing outside her door before she managed to unbuckle the seat belt and she found her breathing slightly quickened as he wrapped his arm around her waist to brace her ankle.

"Slow," he reminded her as they moved towards the front door. "We're not running a race."

"I'm really trying not to freeze," she laughed, only half joking.

In an instant, he pulled her tighter against him, the warmth of his embrace spreading through her immediately. "Better?" he asked.

She nodded. There was nothing she could say that she would have trusted and frankly, she wasn't certain she could have gotten words of any sort to leave her lips.

He led her carefully over to the sofa, his eyes surveying her as she let her body settled down into the cushions.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked, "Some coffee or a drink or something to eat?" His muffled laughter confused her and she tilted her head as she posed the question. "What? What's funny?"

"Well, I just almost want to say yes just to see you attempt to actually make good on that offer without some serious assistance." He pointed down towards her foot. "I don't know if you've noticed or not, but that ankle's really swelling up."

She sighed. "I've tried not to look at it, but the feeling has given me an inkling." She winced a bit as she attempted to roll it around in a small circle, "but it's not broken at least."

His hands were on her leg before he thought better of it and the look in her eyes didn't deter him once he'd made the move. He gently stacked the pillows underneath her injured foot and hissed. "I'll get you some ice before I leave," he said. "I'm sure Nick will have a hissy fit if he comes home and finds me here."

"You're gonna leave?" She tried not to sound disappointed or worst still, desperate, but she couldn't stop the racing of her heart as she thought of being here, in the house, alone. The rational side of her wanted to believe that the car had simply had mechanical issues, that the man behind them on the road had simply been in a hurry, and that all the things that had been going on with Victoria, Nikki, and Sharon had been completely unrelated to any of it. She wondered if they would call her rational in her obituary?

The tone of her voice hadn't been missed and he sat down next to her quickly. "Hey." His voice softened as let his hand rest on the pillow beside her foot. "If you want me to stay, I'll stay. Nick be damned."

"I just …" She hesitated. "I'm just not sure how long Nick will be and this foot isn't exactly gonna let me be up and around on my own."

"Of course … Of course. I thought Nick was on his way or I never would have even thought about leaving, Phyllis. I …"

"No." She could hear how ridiculous she sounded. She wasn't his responsibility anymore and she shouldn't ask anything of him. This had been her choice. "You know what, you're right. Nick probably won't like coming home and finding you here. You should go. I'll just hang out here until he gets home and …"

"Absolutely not." He'd seen it firsthand. She wanted him there and that was everything. He'd never leave now, not until she asked him to. "Let me get you that ice."

"The bar," she said with a slight grin as she watched him walk over and grab a bar cloth.

He wrapped the cloth snug around the ice before bending and grabbing a bottle of wine and two glasses. "We might as well try and enjoy ourselves." He placed the bottle and glasses on the coffee table in front of them before carefully arranging the ice on her ankle. "Sorry," he said earnestly as he saw the wave of pain wash over her face. "You're sure you don't want me to take you to get this checked out?"

"Really Billy. It's fine. I just … I need to stay off of it for a couple days. That's all." His face still didn't look entirely convinced, but she pressed on. "You can at least take off your coat," she suggested. "I mean, if you're still gonna stay. If you don't want to though, you really …"

"Phyllis." He narrowed his eyes slightly as he stood and smiled at her. The coat easily slid off his shoulders and he tossed it over the back of the couch with an exaggerated twirl. The sound of something hitting the floor made his heart drop. Without even looking, he knew what it was.

She could see the look on his face, how his eyes lost all the sparkle when he saw the box again. What good did it do to avoid the hard questions now? What exactly was she trying to salvage? Certainly not their relationship … that was over. "What is that?" she asked.

His eyes stared into hers. "Don't ask, okay?"

"I already did." She tried to smile again, a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. "What's the big deal? Just tell me. It's not an engagement ring or anything is it?" As soon as the words left her lips, she felt an overwhelming sense of dread. What if it actually was?

"Just forget it okay?" He stood, his quick motion causing her leg to jolt and sending another wave of pain through her.

The quick intake of breath drew his attention again and the apology was evident in his eyes far before he said the words. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just … I just wish you hadn't seen it. That's all."

"It's okay," she assured him. "But I did see it and now I want to know. Just tell me what it is, Billy."

"I'll do one better," he relented. "I might as well give it to you. It's yours."


	3. Chapter 3

"Mine?" The word came out as more of a question than a statement as she watched his fingers run across the top of the box.

He smiled sheepishly as her. "Well yeah. I mean, it was going to be. I got the call a few weeks ago and I didn't really know what to do with it, so I've been riding around with it in the console and …"

"Wait. Wait. What?" She recognized the embarrassed, slightly manic way he spoke when he felt vulnerable. It had always struck her as somewhat endearing but now it also made her sad. "I don't understand," she admitted.

"Right." Billy looked down the box again once more before sitting it down on the couch in front of him and passing it closer to her. "It was late one night and I couldn't sleep. You were zonked so I had the television on mute and I was just flipping through channels. I happened across this thing on gemstones and … well." He gestured towards the box and waited until she picked it up in her hands. His head nodded again, encouraging her to open it. The look on her face was everything he'd hoped it would. Only now it would never be the same.

"Billy." Her eyes could barely leave the box as she stared down at the earrings. "They're beautiful. I've never seen anything quite like them. I …"

"Yeah, that's the point." He smiled again before it quickly faded. The reality of the moment had a way of sobering everything almost immediately. "It's a green diamond – pretty rare and almost unheard of in your commercial jewelry. You pretty much have to have it custom made. When I saw it, the first thing I thought of was your eyes and how close the color was …"

"They're gorgeous, Billy. I love them, but I can't …" She swallowed hard as she closed the box, the sound of the springloaded lid snapping shut startled her. "I mean we're not …"

"Please." His eyes locked on hers. "I had them custom made for you and they're not gonna take them back. I can't give them to anyone else … I won't. They're yours. I bought them for you and I want you to have them."

"But Billy, I just don't know if …"

"Come on …" He forced another smile again. "The other day in the office, you said you wanted to be friends. So, we're friends and friends can give each other Christmas gifts. There's nothing wrong with that."

"This isn't just any old Christmas gift though, Billy. This is …"

"I come bearing Chinese food."

She jumped at the sound of Nick's voice and grabbed for the velvet box as it almost tumbled to the floor. "Nick." Her voice was strained as she waited for him to round the corner into the living room.

"I wasn't sure if you'd eaten or not, so I got plenty. Whose car is that out front? I don't recog …" His voice stopped short as he stepped into the open area. "Billy." The change in tone was obvious. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a long story actually."

Billy turned to face him. "Not that long actually," he said quickly. "I caught her, quite literally, alone in a dark parking garage with a car leaking brake fluid. Luckily, she found the leak while it was still parked and not while she was trying to drive it home."

"Oh my …" There was obvious concern in his voice as he approached the sofa. "Why didn't you call me and I would've …" He stopped. "What happened to your ankle."

"You catch on real quick don't you?" Billy muttered.

"Billy." Her soft voice was an almost plea. "I slipped in what turned out to brake fluid and Billy actually kept me from destroying myself anymore." He was sitting next to her now, his hand resting on her leg. She let her eyes drift over his shoulder to where Billy stood. She knew he was watching Nick intently, scrutinizing his every move.

"What's this?"

"What?" She'd been distracted, momentarily lost in the look in Billy's eyes, the look she was almost certain she'd call jealousy. "Oh … that." A sudden surge went through her. The box didn't belong to him. There was something about it she needed to keep, something personal, something special. "Those are …" She hesitated as she reached for the box and held it, almost protectively, in her hand.

"They're some earrings I found that she'd left at the house," Billy interrupted. "I'd been riding around with them in the car and I kept forgetting to give them to her. When I gave her a ride tonight, it made me think of it, so I gave them back. They were some of her favorites so, I wanted to make sure she got them back." He watched the expression on her face change from surprise at his willingness to lie to what he thought was admiration at the ease in which he did it. "Anyway," he reached over to the back of the sofa and grabbed his jacket. "I guess now that you're here, I should be going." He pointed down to her ankle which still lay propped and iced on the pillow. "Take care of that, will ya? No working this weekend. Stay off of it."

"Don't you waste your time worrying about her." Nick stood up, his stance a clear marking of territory. "I'll take care of her."

The message was nothing short of obvious. "Got it." He nodded. "See you Monday. Have a nice Christmas." His eyes held her gaze for only a moment longer than necessary before he turned towards the door. For a second, he almost thought she'd say something, thank him for the gift, tell him not to leave, something … Instead she smiled, her eyes sparkling up at him, their color an almost perfect match to the earrings that rested inside the small velvet box still clenched inside her hand.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been happening more frequently as of late, and she couldn't help but wonder if it was some sort of sign. The first time had been at the little café in Chancellor Park and then again tonight. She'd been waiting, both times, for Nick to arrive, to fill the silence that surrounded her with his jokes and laughter, to make her feel carefree and alive the way he did. Nick made her laugh, made her forget about all the difficult things she'd endured recently and then she'd seen them. It wasn't the same couple, but the message they conveyed couldn't have been more similar. Both were older and clearly content to let life happen around them. They both sat at the table across from each other, sipping their coffee and eating their dinner respectively and neither needed to say anything. They met each other's eyes only occasionally and only to smile sweetly, comfortably, as if there was no need for superfluous words. They'd said everything that needed to be said already and now they both knew. They were exactly where they wanted to be – together.

The silence that existed between the two of them tonight didn't feel that way. She let the fork fall from her hand onto the plate that rested on her lap as she struggled to sit up a bit. The pain in her ankle made her wince.

"Here," he said, reacting instantly to the sound of her discomfort and reaching for her plate. He placed it on the coffeetable in front of him along with his own before running his hand gently across her foot. "This looks pretty bad," he sighed. "You sure you're okay."

"I'm fine." She watched him carefully as he nodded, his eyes not quite meeting hers. "What about you?" Her words were slightly hesitant. She was poking at something she probably shouldn't. If he said things were okay, why not let it go? But she couldn't simply because things were so obviously not okay. "You're quiet. Are you angry?"

"Angry?" His tone shifted as his eyes finally locked with hers. "Why would I be angry?"

"Because Billy was here earlier, because he drove me home, because he stayed … because I didn't call you instead … all of it … none of it … something else entirely." She smiled in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. "I don't know, but I know this .." She gestured to the air around him. "This isn't your usual self. You've barely said a word since Billy left and I would just rather know if you're sitting here stewing about something."

"Sometimes I forget how well you know me." Nick shook his head shamefully. "I guess I am a little angry, but not with you … more with myself. I should have been there."

"Nick … I know how these things go. I know that work stuff just …"

"No. I need to …" He sighed and ran his hand across his face. "I need to just tell you now. It seemed like such a great idea at the time, but now it all seems really trivial and if anything had happened …" He stood up and walked over towards the hallway.

Phyllis watched silently as he disappeared for a moment and then returned to the room. He held a brightly wrapped package in his hand and held it out towards her as he reclaimed his seat on the sofa.

"What's this?"

His shoulders rose and fell again, the guilt still weighing on him. "Tonight, when I called you and said I had a work meeting … that was a lie. I didn't."

"Why would you lie to me about that?" Her emotions were conflicted. There was a part of her that knew lying about whereabouts couldn't be a good thing, but somehow this seemed innocuous enough.

"It's stupid really … especially now, knowing what happened and thinking about what could have happened, but … I just knew you'd love and I wanted to get it for you because I knew it was almost impossible to get ahold of and when they called and told me they had one …" He smiled at her obvious confusion. "Just open it."

"It's a Christmas gift?" She looked down at the festive paper, it's purpose obvious.

"It was supposed to be, but now I just … just open it, please. Hopefully, you'll understand and I won't have to feel like such an asshole. And since you're wounded, it'll give us something to do to occupy the time." He watched her forehead wrinkle as his words befuddled her even further. "And I'll get you another gift even though there's no way it can ever be as perfect as this one. I've been working on this for weeks."

Her mind flashed back to Billy for a moment. She could still see the look in his eyes as she'd opened the velvet box. It was clear he'd taken great pains to find just the right gift, to find something that he knew she'd love, to find something that meant something to him and to her. She couldn't help but wonder if what was wrapped within this paper could hold that kind of weight. Her fingertips gingerly tugged at the bow, her heart involuntarily speeding up as she pulled the paper away from the contents.

"Oh it's …" She knew very well what it was, but somehow the words weren't coming. A few hours ago, this gift would have thrilled her. They would have laughed and joked and placed some ridiculous bet on who would win the first round, but now it seemed different.

"It's the right one, isn't it?" He hadn't missed the slight hint of disappointment in her reaction. "It's been sold out everywhere for weeks and the guy that called me said he was shocked they'd managed to get one. I'm not even gonna tell you what I had to pay for it, but it's worth it because I knew how excited you were to hear they were coming out with a new version. Of course I know you were only excited because it's one of the few games you can legitimately beat my ass in, but I'll take that as part of your gift …"

"Yeah." She forced a bigger smile, remembering how well he also knew her. "You're right. This is exactly the one I wanted." She leaned towards him, kissing his face and pulling him close. "I just … I can't believe you found it. I was reading that it was expected to be back ordered for weeks. I had even put in a pre order and they said the response had been so overwhelming that they weren't even able to produce enough to fulfill the first round. I'm just …"

"Well, as much as I claim to hate it, the last name helps sometimes." Nick shrugged as he looked at her, her eyes still staring down at the video game case. "So," he nudged her gently. "You up for a game?"

"I think the better question is, Are you up to get your ass kicked?" She smiled again as he laughed and stood up to retrieve the game controls. As he walked from the room, she finally allowed her smile to fade. She let her eyes move to the velvet box that sat on the corner of the coffee table. Even without looking, her mind held the image. Each detail had been so carefully constructed. It was made for her, created for her, thought of just for her.

But now wasn't the time for thinking. It would be Christmas in a matter of days. She'd get to watch Christian experience Christmas. The joy of a small child this time of year was contagious. It would be days before she'd have to go back to work and face him and hopefully by then, she'd have some idea of what to say.


	5. Chapter 5

She jumped slightly at the sound of the knock on the door. She was the one that had given Ted the week off, and it had been her that had sent him the e-mail. His arrival in her office this morning shouldn't have come as a surprise. Still, his presence caught her off guard. Now, the sight of him made her feel flustered all over again and the thick wool jacket that had felt cozy mere moments ago now felt impossibly smothering.

Her legs trembled a bit as she stood and let the jacket fall from her shoulders before laying it across the chair. "Good morning," she managed. "You want some coffee or water or …" She let her eyes move over towards the table.

Billy smiled. "No." He held up the cup in his hand. "I'm good."

The heat rushed to her face once again. "Right." She forced an uncomfortable laugh. "Of course, you already have coffee and you obviously don't need anything and …" She was rambling and if it was obvious to her, she was certain he'd noticed as well.

"I got your email." His voice was soft – friendly, but not overly so. His eyes were wary, his movements hesitant.

She couldn't blame him. This wasn't an ideal position for either of them. "Yeah," she said quietly as she made her way back to her desk. "I wanted to talk to you before the New Year started, before we had full staff back in here." She could feel her hands begin to shake a bit and she silently cursed herself. It had never been like this with them. There had always been an ease, an acceptance, an understanding. She slowly opened the desk drawer and immediately found the soft velvet box.

"I know we were supposed to have a meeting regarding the marketing pitch …"

His eyes fell instantly. "Oh. I just thought that …" He straightened, determined to salvage the little dignity that he might have left. "I mean since Kyle isn't here, I just assumed that …"

"We were supposed to have the marketing meeting," she repeated, "but that's not what this is about." She walked from behind the desk again, moving towards the sofa to sit down closer to him. "It's about this."

His eyes were fixed on the box in her hands. "What about that?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but his words stopped her.

"Wait. Don't tell me. Let me guess. You told Sir Nick that they were a gift from me and he wasn't comfortable with you keeping them, right?"

"I didn't tell Nick anything." The words were out of her mouth before she realized the gravity of the admission.

"You didn't tell him?" His eyes lit up a bit.

"I didn't see the point. There's no reason for him to know they were a gift especially when I'm not going to be keeping them." She placed the box on the sofa beside her. "I appreciate the thought, Billy. I really do and the earrings are beautiful, but I can't keep them … not with the way things are now."

He blinked. "What does that even mean? They're just earrings. What am I going to do with them? I bought them for you. You said you liked them. There's no reason for you not to wear them and enjoy them and maybe even use them to remember that we …" He stopped as he saw her eyes shift. "That's it, isn't it?" The eyes that usually shone bright – whether it be with excitement, love, joy, or anger, weren't bright today. His touch was still hesitant, but also gentle as he brushed her hand. "Phyllis," he whispered. "That's it?"

"You really want to hear me say it? Fine. Yeah, I don't want to think about it. I don't want to look at them and remember that, even though things ended really horribly, there were moments that …"

"Were magic." He let his hand linger on hers, his heart racing when she didn't pull away. He reached up to touch her face, his fingertips slowly descending down her neck to trace her collarbone. "There were more good times than bad, weren't there?" He could feel her breath, the warm flush of her skin. He knew she was fighting the pull, just as she was.

"There were," she conceded, "But Billy, we …"

"We messed up. I messed up bad. I know I did a horrible, horrible thing and if I could take it back …"

"You can't."

"I know."

"It wasn't just that." She searched his eyes. There was so much sincerity there, so much love. It would be so easy to …

"I know. It was the gambling too. I lied to you and …"

"No. I mean it wasn't just you. It was me too. I slept with Nick. I hurt you. I betrayed you and …"

"I hurt you back. We hurt each other. It was senseless and thoughtless and … but it's over now … at least for me it is, but you and Nick …" He didn't want to ask, but he had to. "What are you doing with him? Do you love him? Are you serious about him? Are the two of you gonna …?"

"I care about Nick. You know that. I always will. It's easy with him. We get each other. We have fun, but it's different. It's not … we're not … Nick isn't …" She met his eyes once again and suddenly it became clear. "He's not you."

"And he never will be." Billy waited a moment before continuing. He didn't want to push her, but in this moment, a push might be exactly what she needed. "You said you wanted to talk to me before the New Year. I'm glad you did because there's nothing else I'd rather do than start this year out with the woman I love. I can't promise you that it'll be perfect. I'm not perfect. " He ran his hand across his chest once more. "But I can promise it'll make your heart race."

She smiled finally and brought her hand to cover his. "You've always been able to deliver on that," she breathed. "And you may not be perfect, but I think you might be perfect for me."

"You still think that?" There was a part of him that was afraid she'd change her mind or worse, that this was her greatest revenge yet, her best chance to get back at him and that any moment, she'd laugh, and jerk all of this away.

"I do," she whispered. "When you love someone, they become your whole word and God help me … no matter how hard I've tried, I can't seem to stop loving you."

"Stop trying, okay?, would you?" Her tiny nod was all the encouragement he needed.

The warmth of her body grew ever closer as he leaned towards her, his lips hovering just above hers.

"Wait," she whispered. She heard and felt his frustrated sigh and she struggled to maintain her serious demeanor.

"What?" he sighed desperately. "What's wrong? Is it Nick?" He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell. "I'll call him right now. We'll wrap this up."

"It's not about Nick," she said quickly. "I'll handle that." She pulled back further. "It's just … maybe we should wait …until New Years. You said we could start the New Year off with …"

It was the look of pure torment on his face that broke her, his pitiful eyes were the final straw that sent her dissolving into a fit of laughter.

She had a smile on her face as he pulled her to him, a smile that remained as he kissed her passionately and ran his fingers through her hair. The smile still beamed as he finally pulled away and looked into her eyes once more.

"Don't you worry," he whispered, his hands now cradling her face. "I have a much, much better way for us to ring in the New Year."


End file.
